a friend, an old friend of mine just got married. It feels funny when you realise that everyone has grown up and are starting families of their own.

we were friends as kids, i know i sound like some 60 yr old woman reminiscing but it does truly feel eons ago. the adolescent stages of life. where you discover you're so different from the boys and that its kinda stupid fighting with them for everything. when you are taller than every boy in class:) the time of slumber parties and chaperoned-evening-outs for movies. the time when you start having crushes. when a boy and girl start talking, the merciless teasing!!! truly another time in itself...

and then now i meet her, and she's all grown up and married. saris and tradition, things that as adolescents we rebel against-innately so.

then you grow up. you start appreciating carnatic music, slow driving, the quieter kinds of music, the peace and quiets of mornings, dreading the start of the work week, figuring out office politics, realising that growing up is more messy and complicated, that people rarely ever say what they think, that blunt honesty is rarely ever appreciated, that there is a fine line between friends and accquaintances, that friends are those that saw you grow up, accquaitances see you evolve....well..i'm rambling...bang on signs of age catching up:)

i just met up with a couple of friends for coffee today...and i was speechless literally. i was at a loss to add anything to our conversation, or rather their conversation. It was weird. and unnerving. kind of like you're losing touch with normal things in life like coffee, meaningless but funny conversations, long and meaningful conversations, catching up, driving, traffic and life in general.

Living in a remote corner of gujarat has truly made the world isolated for me. true, there is always something i can do about it but self-motivation in a place that can be quite depressing st times is a terriblly flailing thing. whatever it be, i realised i either needed to move about continously if i'm going to stick it out at the job or that i have to quit and find a another career for myself.

its truly scary when you are there but still are not. i mean, when you're out of conversation skills...it can be truly freaky...or maybe it was just today..i dunno lets see...maybe this break of mine will re-introduce me to civilization and the ways of the city again:) lets hope!!!

its been a while...

its been quite a while since i've blogged...ages really.. and in this time span i've started work...moved to a new place and met tons of new people...while at the same time, all my friends have found a job, moved away, continued studying or have gotten married. its weird. the whole concept of growing up. it seems like yesterday when i used to fight with my father's friends..and today, i'm working, they can't grasp the concept either.

Its like, you are so detached from what is happening, when in fact its your life you're watching unfold. its a concept i'm yet to grasp-one of responsibility, one of a world so different from the one you know at home and amongst friends. A world that isnt exactly enticing in its being either!!

But you learn to live. and that i believe i have; it is so true- the concept of survival of the fittest, though your definition of the fittest may differ from person to person...it is survival at the end of the day.

Its like everybody lives in parallel worlds. Everyone has a life that is moving in fast track. parallel and simultaneously, just very different from yours. Friends, Family,Strangers-everybody.

I guess this is what i dont understand...that every life is intertwined, as by the chaos theory but at the same time independent in its being...it has to be one of life's mysteries, one i'm not so sure would hold as much allure and questioning if someone were to stumble upon the answer :)